There are certain people who appeal to us in our short span of life and they mesmerize us simply by their style, caliber and innate charisma.
With my losing battle with eating disorder, I came across Ahmed Hulusi and learnt one thing that the voice inside my head belonged to someone who was purely menace and destructive. Ahmed Hulusi is a Sufi, a scholar from the Mevalana's heartland of Turkey. He is demure, quiet and befittingly carries an aura of saint around him. His humbleness, knowledge, intellect and wisdom appealed to me.
In many ways, it was his book A guide to prayer and Dhikr, that got me through the darkest days of anorexia nervosa. I have to admit his work is complex and astoundingly brilliant. It pushes the boundaries of limited human intellect. Turkey has produced great Sufi saints throughout the course of history, but Ahmed Hulusi has a status of his own. We are lucky to have him in our world.
In eating disorder you cannot control your mind, in fact its your disorder that controls you. According to Dr Irina Webster subconscious mind is the mind beneath or beyond conscious awareness. In the case of eating disorders for most people, the behavior or the sufferer seems very illogical and strange. And many sufferers do understand what they are doing is not right, but they still continue to do these things. This is because their sub conscious tells them to and they cant stop. The subconscious always wins.
No wonder a person feels detached from mercies of God, when their mind is constantly in a state of confusion and destruction.
To recover
According to Karen Philips in order to recover from your eating disorder, "the cortex, which is the conscious part of the brain, should influence the limbic system, which does not have conscious thought."
I agree with her (in my case) that " most eating disorders are a learned behavior. Initially you taught yourself to diet, or to become slim. Initially it was your own conscious decision to lose weight because you wanted to look better. This conscious decision was made by your cortex and sent to your limbic system, which gave you feelings (like feeling good about yourself when you become slim). So, what you need to do is reverse this; you (or your cortex) should make another decision (about changing your own image and feelings that you have now, like starving yourself or purging, back to a normal response) and send this signal to your limbic system to foster good feelings about this new decision you have just made."
How do you do it? In my case as Ahmed Hulusi said: practice known as Dhikr. Imam Ghazali said: "There has to be a balance in everything, except dhikr of Allah which needs to be constant/often."
Ahmed Hulusi said:
Religion is not for attaining worldly sovereignty. In Jesus’ words, it is to attain “the kingdom of heaven.” And this is only possible by reaching the essential reality of one’s self.
How can one attain knowledge of the self?
Via the brain, of course!
Our success will be determined by the extent to which we use our brain’s capacity. The wider the scope of our reflective capacity, the more objectively we can view things and the stronger our spirits will get, allowing us to know the reality of Allah.
But how will such progress take place in the brain?
Through the practice known as dhikr!
I believe Dhikr is the key to defeating the demon inside my brain. Ahmed Hulusi emphasized on changing your mind through recitation of certain names of Allah. Shaykh Hamid Hasan of the Naqshbandi-Mujaddidi tariqah in New Delhi helped me in this matter.
In eating disorder treatments, hypnotherapy, counseling, meditations are highly recommended . All the holistic methods and prescription medicines such as fluoxetine (Prozac) are there to silence and control this voice inside person's mind . I find controlling that voice through Dhikr is much easier.
We all humans are weak, but with the combination of right foods, tawakul and Dhikr, Inshallah nothing is unattainable, especially the war against eating disorder.
Read the article below by Ahmed Hulusi on Dhikr
What Is DHIKR
Religion is not for attaining worldly sovereignty. In Jesus’ words, it is to attain “the kingdom of heaven.” And this is only possible by reaching the essential reality of one’s self.
How can one attain knowledge of the self?
Via the brain, of course!
Our success will be determined by the extent to which we use our brain’s capacity. The wider the scope of our reflective capacity, the more objectively we can view things and the stronger our spirits will get, allowing us to know the reality of Allah.
But how will such progress take place in the brain?
Through the practice known as dhikr!
Indeed, dhikris the key to all of the above.
Primarily, dhikr is known to be a repetition of certain prayers and names of Allah. Its second meaning entails remembrance and to reflect on. Furthermore, it means to elaborate and dwell on a meaning such that it yields deep, comprehensive contemplation.
Here are some verses from the Quran in regards to the importance of dhikr:
“O believers! Let not your worldly goods or your children make you oblivious of the remembrance of Allah (the remembrance of your essential self, and the necessary practices that accompany this). And whoever does this – it is they who are the losers!” (Quran 63:9)
“They (the objects/idols of their worship) will say, ‘Subhan[1] you are! It is not possible for us to take besides You any allies. But when You provided comforts for them and their fathers, they forgot the knowledge of reality and indulged in bodily pleasures which eventually led to their ruin.’” (Quran 25:18)
“And whoever is blinded (with external things) from remembering that his essential composition is composed of the names of Allah, and thus from living the requirements of this, (Rahman) We appoint for him a devil (a delusion; the idea that he is only the physical body and that life should be lived in pursuit of bodily pleasures) and this (belief) will become his (new) identity! And indeed, these will avert them from the way [of guidance; the path to reality] while they think that they are [rightly] guided!” (Quran 43:36-37)
“Satan (corporeality; the idea of being just the physical body) has overcome them and made them forget the remembrance of Allah (their own reality of which they have been reminded, and that they will abandon their bodies and live for eternity as ‘consciousness’ comprised of Allah’s names!) Those are the acquaintances of Satan (the advocates of corporeality, those who only think of themselves as the physical body). Beware, for most assuredly, the party of Satan will be the very losers!” (Quran 58:19)
The absence of remembrance in the form of dhikr is probably the biggest lack in our lives. Those whose brains are deprived of the power of dhikr are easily susceptible to the manipulations of the jinni.
Being under the influence of Satan denotes a much bigger reality than one may assume. The Quran clearly states that the majority of the human race is under the direct manipulation of the jinni:
“The day when Allah resurrects them all, He will say to them: ‘O community of jinn, you have truly possessed (misled from reality) most of mankind.’” (Quran 6:128)
The only and most powerful weapon man has against the jinni, who appear most often in the guise of aliens or extraterrestrial beings,is dhikr.
The most observable feature of those who are under the influence of the jinni is the absurdity of their speech, which lacks logical uniformity and is contradictory.
The Quran advises reciting the following verses as a dhikr or as prayer to be protected from them:
“Rabbi inni massaniyash shaytanu bi nusbin we adhab; Rabbi audhu bika min hamazatish shayatini wa audhu bika Rabbi an yahdurun wa hifzan min kulli shaytanin marid” (Quran 38:41, 23:97-98, 37:7)
“He called to his Rabb (the reality of the Names comprising his essence), ‘Indeed, Satan (the feeling of being this body) has given me hardship and torment.’”
“And say, ‘My Rabb! I seek refuge in You (the protective names within my essence) from the incitements of the satans (that call to corporeality). And I seek refuge in You (the protective names within my essence) my Rabb, lest they be present with me.’”
“We protected the nearest heaven (earth’s atmosphere) from every rebellious satan.”
Cigarettes are the most prominent source of smoke nutrition for the jinni. Due to this they never leave the presence of smokers. Again, dhikr and prayer is the only way one can protect the self from their influences.
Prayer and dhikr enable the brain to produce a protective energy, which can shield the brain from the impulses sent by the jinni, either by weakening these incoming impulses or by preventing them altogether.
In fact, the protective energy omitted by the brain during dhikr forms a field of protection around the person.
Indeed, our preeminent purpose in life should be to develop and enhance our brain via dhikr and thereby to know our selves and our environment. For our brain possesses potential that is beyond our imagination. If only we could harness its power!
Only then may we gain insight into the reality of man, his make-up, his mechanism, his inherent qualities and how to optimize them through dhikr and prayer.
SUGGESTED DAILY DHIKR’S
100 ALLAHUMMA A'INNI ALA DHIKRIKA WA SHUKRIKA WA HUSNU IBADATIK
O Allah, enable me to remember you, to benefit from you and to engage optimally in the necessary practices thereupon.
300 ALLAHUMMA INNI ASALUKA HUBBAKA WA HUBBU MAN YUHIBBUKA
O Allah, bestow upon me your love and the love of those who love you.
300 LA ILAHA ILLA ANTA SUBHANAKA INNI KUNTU MINAZ ZALIMEEN
There is no deity-God (I as this person do not exist) only You (the meanings of the names that comprise my essence). I invoke you (as the manifestations of your names necessitate me to) Indeed, I have wronged my self (by failing to realize and exoerience my reality).
500 QUDDUS'UT TAHIRU MIN KULLI SOOIN
Cleanse me from all humanly impurities.
100 YA NURA QULLI SHAY'IN WA HADAHU AKHRIJNI MINAZ ZULUMATI ILAN'NUR
O the source of light and guidance for all! Save me from the darkness of ignorance and enlighten me with your knowledge.
3600 x MUREED
2700 x HALIM
1800 x MU’MİN
2700 x RASHID
3600 x QUDDÛS
3600 x NUR
1800 x HAKİM
2700 x FATTAH
Prayers for Protection
Rabbi inni messeniyesh sheitanu binusbin ve azâb; Rabbi euzü bike min hemezatish sheyatini ve euzü bike rabbi en yahdurun. Ve hifzan min külli sheytanin marid.
O Rabb! (The Reality of the Names comprising my essence) Satan (The internal mechanism (ego) that promotes the illusory existence of the inexistent and veils the absolute reality) is distressing and tormenting me. My Rabb, I seek refuge in you from the incitements of Satan, and I seek refuge in you from the presence of Satanic influences around me. And we have provided protection from all rejected Satans.
Audhu bi wajhillahil kareem wa kalimatillahil ta'ammatilladhiy la yujawuz hunna barrun wala fajiroon min sharri ma yanzilu minas samaa'i wa ma ya'rujoo feeyha wa min sharri ma zara'a fil ardhi wa mayakhrujoo minha wa min fitanil layli wan nahari illa tariqan yatruku bikhayrin ya Rahman…
I seek refuge in the face of Allah (in that which the attributes of Allah become manifest), the Karim (The exceedingly generous and bountiful), and in all His Names, nothing good or bad can attack them.
I seek protection in RAHMAN, the source of all potentials, from that which ascends to the heavens (from provocative thoughts) and that which descends from the heavens (from thoughts that conjure doubt and suspicion), from that which is produced from the plane of perceived manifestation (ardh) (that which emanates from corporeality) and grows out of it (bodily demands and desires), from the provocations of the day (our internal life) and the night (the outside world), and from that which knocks on the door at night (instinct), except if it is with good intent.
Assalamou a3laykoum warahmatoullah wabarakatoullah
ReplyDeleteMy sister, I was really happy to find your blog about how ED. I'm muslim too and I have anorexia since 2000. I'm 26 years old and ED destroyed my life, but thanks to Allah I'm still living and I never left the hope to recover from it.
*how fighting ED
ReplyDeleteDar Nisrine,
ReplyDeleteEvery action starts with a thought. Your thought is positive. You have suffered for a long time with your illness.
Don't forget: Allah does not impose on any self any more than it can stand.
May you find a true healing and a cure for your illness Inshallah. Praying for you dear sister.